Remember the Sacrafice

You stay up for 16 hours.

He stays up for days on end.

You take a warm shower to wake you up.

He goes days, even weeks, without running water.

You complain of a headache and call in sick.
He gets shot at while others are hit, and still moves forward.

You put on your anti-war and don't support the troop shirts and meet up with friends to protest.
He still fights for your right to wear that shirt.

You make sure your cell phone is in your pocket.
He clings to the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags.

You talk trash about some of your "buddies" that aren't with you.

He knows he may never see some of his buddies ever again.

You walk down the beach looking at all the pretty girls.

He walks the street searching for insurgents and terrorists.

You complain about how hot it is.

He wears all of his heavy gear and doesn't dare take off his helmet to wipe his brow.

You go out to lunch and complain that the restaraunt got your order wrong.

He doesn't get to eat today.

Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.

He wears the same thing for weeks but still makes sure his weapons are clean.

You go to the mall to get your hair redone.

He doesn't get to brush his teeth today.

Your angry because you class or meeting ran 5 minutes over.

He was just informed he will be held over and extra 2 months.

You call your girlfriend to set up a date for tonight.

He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home.

You hug and kiss your loved ones like every other day, not thinking much about it.

He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume.

You roll your eyes and sigh when a baby cries out loud.

He gets a picture of his new child and wonders if they'll ever get to meet.

You criticize your governent and say war never solves anything.

He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers why he is fighting.

You hear jokes about the war and make fun of men like him.

He hears gunfire, bombs, and screams of the wounded.

You see only what the media wants you to see.

He sees the broken bodies lying around him.

Your parents ask you to do a chore or go to the store. You blow it off.

He does exactly what he is told even if it puts his life in danger.

You crawl into your soft bed with down pillows and get comfortable.

He tries to sleep but gets woken up by helicopters and mortars all night long.

You stay home and watch t.v.

He takes whatever time he is given to write home, sleep and eat.

Please remember those who sacrafice everything for your freedom. Don't mock or judge them. If you do, I guess that's ok. Its not like you know the people who fight day in and day out for you to live your life comfortably anyways. Just remember to keep them as well as their families and loved ones in your prayers. Be grateful for their sacrafice.

Miles Away

Although you are miles away.
You’ll always be in my heart to stay.
You make me happy and everything more
You make my heart flutter and soar.
I don’t like to be without you.
My days are lonely and often blue.
But it’s okay
because I know someday
We can always be together
No matter the times no matter the weather.
You are my everything.
You free my heart to be happy and sing.
I can’t wait to see you get back
You presence is needed and most in lack.
I love you and miss you. I can’t describe my feeling.
All I can do is thank through kneeling.
Because God, He’s the one who sent you to me.
To finally be happy and see life like it should be.

I CAN SAY I KNOW...

So i know its been FOREVER since i last posted a blog. So i figured tonight would be the night i would start again. Its been crazy the last little while. Things have changed in my life dramatically. Somethings for the better and some for the worst.

The one biggest thing in my life other than graduating high school is a very special person walked into my life. CHRISTOFER ANDREW COMBADO.

I've never met anyone like him and he has turned my entire world upside down. All i have to say is, timing is everything.

I've known Chris for about 3-4 years now. We both worked at Aliante Golf Course for quite a while and also went to the same school, but the most conversation we ever had was him asking for a drink since i worked in the restaurant at the course. (his favorite was dr. pepper. haha) So we didn't talk much. We knew who each other were and everything but honestly i never even thought about us ever really hanging out let alone being together. Not in a million years.

Well during my senior year of high school i went through some extremely hard times, which at this time he happened to be in Rholde Island at NAPS (naval academy prepatory school). Towards the end of my senior year i started to get over those hard times and become myself again, and as this was happening, Chris came home for the summer.

One night i was "cleaning my room" haha sitting on facebook and posted a status that said something about being bored and i wanted someone to text me. Within a matter of minutes i got a message on face book from Chris. We got to talking just small talk about him being home from school and what he had been up to and everything. Really it was the first conversation we had ever had. We got to talking about going golfing together while he was home for the 5 weeks just because we both worked at the course before and had that common connection to one another. So i gave him my number to text me and that night he did. :)

We decided we wanted to play 20 questions since we didn't really know what else to talk about considering we'd never really talked to each other before. Well i can say we got to know each other really fast. haha Within the first night i felt an attraction to him even though we were just texting. Pretty crazy i know. But that's just how it was. We talked about hanging out eventually and of course i didn't expect it to happen.

Two nights later was my Senior Powder Puff Game. Don't forget that we had been texting non stop since the Sunday before this night. Not only texting but flirting like crazy. haha So after my game i texted him and was telling him about it and i was giving him a hard time about not making it to the game. He had been at dinner with his family and told me he wanted to hang out to make it up to me. At this point it was about 9 at night. I thought he was crazy but agreed to it anyway. We couldn't really go anywhere to hang out because of the time so we met up at the park in my neighborhood. I was still all dressed up in my powder puff gear (which he has told me he thought i was absolutely adorable lol) and what not and we just walked around the park talking. Conversation didn't stop and never once was it akward. He was just an amazing person to talk to. We sat down on a bench next to each other and all i could think about was how much i wanted him to kiss me even though we had just started talking two days before. Nothing happened. :(

UNTIL, we started walking back to our cars because it was about ten thirty now and my parents would have been calling any minute. He walked me to my car and we gave each other a hug good bye. It was one of those long- i dont want to let go- hugs and as we slowly pulled away i tilted my head up to look at him and HE KISSED ME! I can't explain the butterflies i felt in my stomach that night. Nothing like i've felt before. We both got in our cars and drove to our houses. From there, its pretty much history.

He was home for five weeks. There was only ONE day in that five weeks that we didn't see each other or spend the day together. If we weren't alseep, we were together. Sometimes even when we were asleep we were together haha Things became serious fast. Which normally that would scare me away. Not this time. He is something special. Like they say, When you know, you know. And I can say that I KNOW. We both felt something very strong for one another very quickly and like i said, timing is everything. No other time in our lives would this have worked out like it did. But boy am I glad that it has worked out.

Chris is the greatest blessing in my life and some people don't exactly understand it. They think I am dumb for being so sure at 18, almost 19. Some people think i'm crazy. Some people don't want to believe that over the course of two days of just talking a true kiss would come from it. Some people don't want to believe 5 weeks of being together would determin the fact that i want to marry Chris and be with him for the rest of my life and all eternity. But that's what they believe. I KNOW. And that's what matters. I am finally truely happy.

Life To Live

Here is a poem I wrote a while ago. Just thought I'd share my writing on my blog. Let me know what you think....

Life to Live
You show a lack of pride in me.
I don’t know why you cannot see
Everything that I’ve done right
In my life, and now in spite,
I’ve made decisions that I know
Led me to a path I didn’t want to go
I have become cold and cynical to the world
All my visions I had for life are swirled
Into this big mess I’m trying to find
The right way out but I feel blind.
I need the help you used to give
Please help me with my life to live.

Lifeguard Adventures

So last weekend ( May 1st-May4th) I was able to recieve my lifeguard certification, and I would have to say it was flat out one of the most fun experiences of my life. I was in a class with the 4 greatest girls ever! Chenae-nae, Krithy, Shley, and Tori Lynn. It was a blast all thanks to these girls. On Friday- we started off driving to Club Sport (where the class was being held.) in Henderson. We needed to be there at 4:00 and since it was far and we didn't know exactly where it was, we left at 2:30. Just to be safe. Well its sure a good thing we left when we did. Haha We ended up going the wrong way and took the whole hour and a half to find it. But the car ride was great anyways. We just talked and talked about the funniest stuff. It was just great. Well anyways- the class that night consisted of the pre swim test where we had to swim 300 meters and then dive down and get a 10 lb. brick off the bottom of the pool and swim using only our legs 20 meters. I was the most nervous for this part. I had been practing my swimming for about two weeks and just didn't think I could swim. But I underestimated myself. I did it with no problems whatsoever. I was so proud of myself. :)) Then when everyone was outta the pool, our instructor Justin, took us to the class room where we watched almost 4 hour of video. Obviously, that part really sucked except the fact that we got out of the class an hour early which was totally awesome.

By the way- I'm totally upset we didn't take any pictures during this weekend. Stupid.

Anyways- the next day (Saturday) was a super long day. We had to be there at 8. Meaning leave at 6:45 to be on time, and had to stay til 6 that night. But we had a blast all day. 10 hours in the pool. Who wouldn't have fun? haha Anyways- this is the day we learned how to do all the rescues.

(This is not from my class, but it is how we rescue someone. haha I did this many times.)

We learned all there is to know about saving someone from drowning (DUH). It was so much fun. Other than getting burnt like crazy. I have never used so much sunscreen in my life, and yet I've never been so sunburnt EVER. It was really bad. But now its worth it because I finally got a little color! HAHA

Well the 3rd day, Sunday, was the day set to learn all the CPR/AED and FirstAid training. We had to watch more videos which was really hard to stay awake considering the previous day's adventures and having to be there at 8:00 (leaving at 6:45 again). Plus the room was dark. Haha. Well we survived and headed into another room, "the karate room" where it was like a million degrees! Not really, but it was freakin hot in there. No air circulation or anything plus our sunburns. It was HOT. But once again FUN. We practiced our CPR a trillion times and then did AED drills which was fun. The best part about this day was Chenae. HAHA Everytime she messed around or said something to make us all laugh or just something, Justin was looking. It made us crack up. Especially when Chenae's dummy lost his pulse and she over reacted and Justin pushed her face into the ground. HAHA good day.

The last day, Monday, we had to be there later in the afternoon to take our test. This day was not so much fun lol. No Chenae (she was super sick) and No Justin (he just wasn't working that day). We learned onland spinal and reviewed for our test. Test time came and we all passed with flying colors. I only missed 2 out of 70 questions. (they were stupid questions too). I was very proud of myself. This weekend was one that made me feel very accomplished.

So now I'm an official lifeguard! :)) Just gotta find a freakin job!!!

Haha I love this little logo thing. Teehee!

Everything will be OK in then end. If it's not OK, it's not the end.

Hey Guys!-
Just thought I'd leave a little note on a lesson I've been learning the last little while. Its about making life what you want it to be and staying positive. The last few months (4 months to be exact) have been some of the roughest times in my life. I've never shed so many tears and felt so much heartache than I have those 4 months. I am still struggling but I am getting better each day. I am learning that you have to let yourself be happy no matter the circumstances or situations you are in, otherwise you'll never be able to pick yourself back up. A huge lesson from all my recent experiences is that you can't rely on others to make you happy. You can't rely on others to make you a good person. That is your choice and responsibility. If you don't accept that and act on that, you are setting yourself up for let down all the time. I let others drag me down and am now suffering the consequences. I thought certain people in my life were making me truely happy and making me the person I wanted to be. Its taken some time for me to realize that I was not who I wanted to be. I was no where near it either. I'm learning more and more each day and have decided to focus my energy towards other things and finding new passions in life instead of feeling that hurt, loss, and heartache I've been feeling all this time. I hope what I have to say can touch someone's life out there and others can learn along with me.
"Everything will be OK in the end. If its not OK, then it's not the end."
till next time,
EMILY

Rearview Mirror

I am sitting in my room relfecting back on highschool and thinking about how much life has changed the last 4 years. My heart is broken and aching like it never has before. Those who were closest to me in the beginning are now completely gone and out of my life. It hurts me to no longer know these amazing people. I am so confused. What happened? What went wrong? I have so many questions.
Not only did I lose these wonderful people, but I have also lost myself along the way. I remember back when I took my challenges and turned them into ways to learn and grow. Now I find myself just trying to hide my challenges from myself and the world in hopes of them going away. But that obviously doesn't happen.
I don't know how this all happened. I am trying my hardest to stay positive and just move forward. But my heart aches day in and day out for things to be the way they used to.
I am trying so hard to forget about that rearview mirror. For you can't drive forward down the freeway looking into your rearview mirror. I need to take what I can from the past and continue forward in life. I just seem to hit these little bumps like tonight that cause me to look back into that mirror to see what I have missed. To see if I can make sense of that bump and what has happened.
All those special people in my life the last four years, I thank you for all you have done for me. I thank you for all the lessons you've taught me. I am so grateful to have known your amazing spirits. I was blessed to be able to know you all, and as I go about my life, I will NEVER forget you. I loved and I learned from all of you. So thank you. You are what encourage me each day to move forward on this road.