Rearview Mirror

I am sitting in my room relfecting back on highschool and thinking about how much life has changed the last 4 years. My heart is broken and aching like it never has before. Those who were closest to me in the beginning are now completely gone and out of my life. It hurts me to no longer know these amazing people. I am so confused. What happened? What went wrong? I have so many questions.
Not only did I lose these wonderful people, but I have also lost myself along the way. I remember back when I took my challenges and turned them into ways to learn and grow. Now I find myself just trying to hide my challenges from myself and the world in hopes of them going away. But that obviously doesn't happen.
I don't know how this all happened. I am trying my hardest to stay positive and just move forward. But my heart aches day in and day out for things to be the way they used to.
I am trying so hard to forget about that rearview mirror. For you can't drive forward down the freeway looking into your rearview mirror. I need to take what I can from the past and continue forward in life. I just seem to hit these little bumps like tonight that cause me to look back into that mirror to see what I have missed. To see if I can make sense of that bump and what has happened.
All those special people in my life the last four years, I thank you for all you have done for me. I thank you for all the lessons you've taught me. I am so grateful to have known your amazing spirits. I was blessed to be able to know you all, and as I go about my life, I will NEVER forget you. I loved and I learned from all of you. So thank you. You are what encourage me each day to move forward on this road.