thought of the day

why do guys talk about marriage when they are dating a girl?
is it because they think its what the girl wants to hear or is it because they truely mean it?
from personal experience its simply because they think its what girls want to hear.
to be honest...i dont want someone to even think about talking to me about it ever again
unless you are serious.
i don't want to hear it if its not true.
it hurts too much for it not to be true in the end.

Growing Up

I have had the incredible experience to come up to Utah to stay with my brother and future sister-in-law for this week since their wedding is on Saturday!! Super exciting! Anyways, to start I want to talk about how weird the feeling was to be back here. It was unreal and one of the most weird feelings I have ever had in my life. I couldn't even describe it. But it was pretty cool to see the old neighborhood and all. Well then I was able to visit with some old old friends from back in the day. When I say back in the day, I mean kids I went to elementry with. We grew up in the same neighborhood and everything and I think its incredible that a lot of them are still there. Well one night I was able to stop and visit with three particular boys that I have known since elementary. It was a very interesting experience. It just shows me how much I'm growing up and changing and that life is going by so fast. It was so interesting to talk to them. One of them was a basketball player in high school, super cute, gets all the girls, hard worker from what I see in him, and has just signed up for the marines. Then another one is kind of the smart quiet but speaks his mind to anyone type, been in and out of trouble with drugs including having his license revoked and been to rehab and is continuing down that road. Then the third is this super sweet, nice, rule-obeying sweet heart that has just recieved his mission call. All three of them grew up in the same block together and still continue to carry on their bond no matter where life is taking each them. It was the coolest thing to see how totally different people can still be bonded and have that friendship. It also was fun to see what people were doing with their lives and see the paths they are taking and their outlooks on life. If anyone has an opportunity similar to this I would say take it without thinking twice. Its so intriguing and fun to listen to stories and hear about others lives. Especially when you remember them as the little children you knew them as. Keep in contact with as many people as you can throughout your life and you won't regret it. Love unconditionally and accept others for who they are and who they are becomming. Engage yourself with others and their lives. It will be worth it.

Oh boy.....

Man, I really hate relationships and how quickly and drastically things change. It's been really hard for me to update my blog knowing what all my last posts were about. Chris. It's extremely difficult to read those now. In case you didn't know, we're no longer together. Its been....rough to say the least. I'm having my ups and downs with it. Tonight is one of the downs. But its life. There's not much I can do but live my life the way I know I am supposed to and trust in my Heavenly Father that He will bless me for doing so. I am working hard at doing that. Its definitely a struggle. I go back and read what I wrote and because we aren't together anymore I want to say that I don't believe we were ever that crazy about each other. But I don't think that's true. I know I felt exactly everything I've said about him and our relationship. I think that's why its so hard for me to just let go even though I know that's what I need to do. Anyways, I don't exactly want to talk much on the subject cause of the pain it brings. I just needed to get that over with.

So I went and saw the movie Dear John tonight. One word- depression. This movie was so incredible but it made me sooo sad.

It just made me think about Chris the entire time. Every little thing in the movie was just a reminder of the little things me and Chris have together. I related so much to it and I don't know if that was good or bad. haha I had to keep myself from literally weeping and sobbing throughout the movie. It was very difficult to sit through, and it also scared me so much. If any of you didn't know, Chris is in the military. Well as of now he goes to the Naval Academy, but after graduation he will be deployed and all that jazz. And watching this movie just terrified me. I needed him there with me more than ever to hold me and tell me everthing would be ok and that he was here. It was just really difficult. I just want anyone who watches this movie to see the love those two have for each other and know that is exactly how I feel about my Christofer. He is my light my world my strength. He is my everything. I don't know how I'm going to handle saying "See you soon then" to him when he is being shipped over seas. I can barely handle sending him back to school. Anyways, I just needed to vent.

Til Next Time,

EMILY

LAKER GAME

Well it's been a while since we went, but I'm going to tell everyone about our trip to L.A. anyways. haha Chris and I were able to take a quick trip to Los Angeles, California to go see a Laker's game. If you didn't know, that is Chris's all time favorite basketball team and the one I most despise! lol When you love someone you must make sacrifices right? haha Anyways, so we left around noon on Tuesday,12-29-09 and the game started at seven. We got to the hotel around 4:30, and both of us were pretty tired so we decided to nap. Unfortunately for Chris (poor guy) I just couldn't sleep so I figured I'd just get myself dolled up for the game. haha and this is when I discovered all the things I forgot to bring.

HERE we go :

Tooth Brush/Toothpaste

Deodorant

Curling Iron

Blow Dryer (thank heavens they have them in most rooms)

Hairspray

Eyeliner (well my good one anyways I lucked out and found my old one)

Camera

I think that's about it. Haha So everything I needed to bring to get ready I pretty much forgot. Well Chris being the wonderful man that he is :) skipped his nap to go check out their shop in the lobby to see all what he could get for me. I hopped in the shower and used their crappy blow dryer to dry my hair. It took forever. When Chris returned I was able to completely get ready cause now I had hairspray and a toothbrush and all. It was incredible. Haha The best part was the camera. He bought a disposable camera which was so sweet because I was so upset that we forgot one. Except he paid $14.99 for it. HAHAHA I couldn't believe it! He had no idea they are only like 5 bucks regularly. We decided we'd just take it back but instead of doing it right away we'd just do it when we checked out. Now......Time for the game!

Our hotel was just up the street from the Staples Center (walking distance easily) I did really well at picking the hotel haha. And we had a blast at the game :) See the picture. haha

After the game, we decided we weren't too hungry because we had MASSIVE hotdogs at the game. haha So we walked back to the hotel and got in our jammies and just watched t.v. I figured we'd end up just going to sleep but after about an hour we decided we got pretty hungry and found out there was an Ihop or Denny's and a Subway. I chose ihop so we walked and had a nice midnight meal. And back to the hotel we went for some sleep.

The next morning check out was at noon. We didn't end up waking up until a little after 11 haha So we rushed to get our stuff together and get ready. Then headed to check out where we also wanted to return the camera. Turns out, over night they like to change their prices of things in this little shop and it just so happens that over that one night we were there was when they changed the price of the camera's. lol So instead of 14.99 they were now 15.99 and they wouldn't let us return it even when I said, "I will just give you the dollar to make up the difference." So we got stuck with a fifteen dollar disposable camera. haha

Driving home pretty much sucked. It was bumper to bumper traffic for about two hours in the city. Once there was a little break in traffic we were relieved until next thing we know we hit more bumper to bumper traffic. After about three and a half hours we made it to Barstow where we took a rest and ate some food. My mom was in Cali the same time we were so we met up with her and my aunt and my mom decided to ride home with us. Just our luck, it was the day before New year's eve and everyone was heading to Vegas. So bumper to bumper traffic ALL the way home. It was a nightmare. So our trip home that should have taken about 4 hours took us about 8 and a half hours. But it was worth it and I know I had a blast. I'm very happy I got to take that trip with him and I wouldn't have traded that for anything.

MY WEEKEND- BITTERSWEET

THURSDAY:
worked then went bowling and rocked out in the car with colton :)
FRIDAY:
day off. met up with colton for lunch.
then me and heather went to the mall.
got new jeans and panties. WOOHOO!
then bowling again with heather, colton, sean, sawyer, jake dinino (who's that haha) and matt.
then playing scramble at raising canes.
rocked out more in colton's truck.
totally jumped out of a car and totally like rolled my foot hahahah
movie night at colton's house.
SATURDAY:
no sleep. worked 8 hours.
then a bunch of just horrible horrible horrible.
talked to mel for a bit.
trip to vons to get ice cream.
nothing was going right. car wouldn't start. (later realized it was in drive for some odd reason. im an idiot)
ice cream made me feel better.
rocked out in colton's truck with him and heather. haha crazyness.
another movie at his house. then more HYPER crazyness!! haha
SUNDAY:
bum day ALLLLLLL day.
finally showered at 4:30 in the afternoon.
got to like somewhat talk to chris today.
now laying down quoting toy story word for word as i watch it. haha
GOOD NIGHT!!!

MY BUCKET LIST

SO today, I found this in my drafts. Something I was supposed to post long again. like 4/15/09 is when I started it. Just never finsished writing it. Now, I am able to check some of these off :) HOW awesome is that. haha It made me pretty excited to see I accomplished somethings on my bucket list. All those with stars are what I have done so far.

1. Tie die all sorts of things.

2. Ride Primm Rollercoaster

3. Watch the sunrise/sunset with someone

4. Lay out at night and admire the stars **

5. Enjoy the beach **

6. Laugh until I cry **

7. Do something people would least expect of me. **

8. Write more poems/stories **

9. Pull an all-nighter **

10. Stay in bed all day and watch movies. **

11. Make a difference

12. Hike around Red Rock **

8 out of the 12 I had written, NOT BAD!!! :)))