thought of the day

why do guys talk about marriage when they are dating a girl?
is it because they think its what the girl wants to hear or is it because they truely mean it?
from personal experience its simply because they think its what girls want to hear.
to be honest...i dont want someone to even think about talking to me about it ever again
unless you are serious.
i don't want to hear it if its not true.
it hurts too much for it not to be true in the end.

Growing Up

I have had the incredible experience to come up to Utah to stay with my brother and future sister-in-law for this week since their wedding is on Saturday!! Super exciting! Anyways, to start I want to talk about how weird the feeling was to be back here. It was unreal and one of the most weird feelings I have ever had in my life. I couldn't even describe it. But it was pretty cool to see the old neighborhood and all. Well then I was able to visit with some old old friends from back in the day. When I say back in the day, I mean kids I went to elementry with. We grew up in the same neighborhood and everything and I think its incredible that a lot of them are still there. Well one night I was able to stop and visit with three particular boys that I have known since elementary. It was a very interesting experience. It just shows me how much I'm growing up and changing and that life is going by so fast. It was so interesting to talk to them. One of them was a basketball player in high school, super cute, gets all the girls, hard worker from what I see in him, and has just signed up for the marines. Then another one is kind of the smart quiet but speaks his mind to anyone type, been in and out of trouble with drugs including having his license revoked and been to rehab and is continuing down that road. Then the third is this super sweet, nice, rule-obeying sweet heart that has just recieved his mission call. All three of them grew up in the same block together and still continue to carry on their bond no matter where life is taking each them. It was the coolest thing to see how totally different people can still be bonded and have that friendship. It also was fun to see what people were doing with their lives and see the paths they are taking and their outlooks on life. If anyone has an opportunity similar to this I would say take it without thinking twice. Its so intriguing and fun to listen to stories and hear about others lives. Especially when you remember them as the little children you knew them as. Keep in contact with as many people as you can throughout your life and you won't regret it. Love unconditionally and accept others for who they are and who they are becomming. Engage yourself with others and their lives. It will be worth it.

Oh boy.....

Man, I really hate relationships and how quickly and drastically things change. It's been really hard for me to update my blog knowing what all my last posts were about. Chris. It's extremely difficult to read those now. In case you didn't know, we're no longer together. Its been....rough to say the least. I'm having my ups and downs with it. Tonight is one of the downs. But its life. There's not much I can do but live my life the way I know I am supposed to and trust in my Heavenly Father that He will bless me for doing so. I am working hard at doing that. Its definitely a struggle. I go back and read what I wrote and because we aren't together anymore I want to say that I don't believe we were ever that crazy about each other. But I don't think that's true. I know I felt exactly everything I've said about him and our relationship. I think that's why its so hard for me to just let go even though I know that's what I need to do. Anyways, I don't exactly want to talk much on the subject cause of the pain it brings. I just needed to get that over with.